A dream turned into reality

Volume 2 of Unspoken Words: Christine Davies

Welcome to the Unspoken Words series, held here at Being in Motherhood. This series focuses on giving mothers space to share their unspoken words about motherhood; the things that are hard, taboo, scary to admit, etc., I ask mothers to share with me and I share them with you.

If you want to share you own words, click here to fill out the form.

If you want to read more from Being in Motherhood, I share about mothering, healing, breaking cycles, and learning what it means to be ourselves in motherhood.

A cool part of this series is I am getting to connect with women who read my words whom I do not know yet. I am excited to introduce

Christine Vaughan Davies

, you can connect with Christine here through her Substack.

About Christine

I'm a hospital chaplain, spiritual director and pastoral educator. I have two elementary school aged sons. (Emma here - I am adding Christine also writes the publication Journeying Alongside which is about looking for the sacred in our everyday lives. She share reflections on what it is like to journey alongside others and explores practices and stories of suffering, hope and resilency to encounter the divine).

What is one thing that is hard for you to admit about motherhood?

There are a lot of times that I don't think I'm all that good at being a mom.

What is another thing that is hard for you to admit about motherhood?

My kids get on my nerves! Multiple times a day!

Share any other thoughts that are hard for you to admit about motherhood.

Over a decade ago, through lots of miscarriages, I was desperate with a longing to be a mom. It was something I felt called toward, a deep yearning I had. While I'm glad for that confirmation of what I wanted during that time - it feels so very far away, because that is not my daily reality.

My daily reality now is a countdown to bedtime. It is trying not to lose my temper when I step on yet another lego on the floor. It is chauffering my children to all their activities at the expense of my own social life. It is hoping that these kiddos of mine will turn out to be good people, but being a little afraid - because the jury is still out!

It is often feeling like a failure but trying to find the trust and hope that I am doing the best that I can. And it is knowing that my kids will probably be talking about me in therapy too one day, but my solace is that their issues with me will be different than my issues with my own mom!

What truth(s) has motherhood taught you?

It has taught me that I still have work to do on myself and for myself. Any self-awareness that I thought I had previously and issues I had processed got kicked back up with motherhood! It has also taught me that everyone is doing the best that they can.

What does it feel like to be in motherhood in this season?

It feels a little easier each day, as my kids get a little older and more independent. But then again, they like to wrestle with each other multiple times a day, so motherhood feels like being a referee at the moment!

What advice, words up support, or encouragement would you give to other mothers out there?

Being a mom is hard! You are doing a good job, even if you don't think that you are!

Thank you Christine for sharing your words with us.

I appreciated what you shared about the days of longing to be a mother. I used to dream, it feels my whole life, about becoming a mom and now it is my reality, and I long for space. Your reflection helped bring me back to that desire, I dreamed of this and I wanted this. It does not make it any easier or less frustrating, but it is on time and my son is my greatest teacher.

I also appreciate what you shared about your children someday talking about you in therapy. I have become more comfortable with the fact that this will most likely be true AND my son will have radically different things to say about me, that I did my own mother.

There is no way to know for sure, but I have a feeling your kiddos are going to turn to be loving and kind humans.

Again, Christine, thank you for sharing with us!

Love,

Emma

Please share in the comments or reply to this email your own reflections and/or support of Christine sharing her words.

This is a space where we can say the hard things about motherhood and life, while lifting each other up in love and support. I have found this community of mothers to be extremely compassionate and welcoming.

I invite you to share this post with a mother who may needs these reminders. And I also invite you to share the google form with any mothers you know who may be interested in telling their stories.