The beginning of Being in Motherhood

A space to be held and share in honest conversations about motherhood and being in the present moment.

Since my son was born, I have been dreaming in the dark about what it means to be a mother. Not just for me or him, but for all mothers, and out of those dreams this space was born.

During my early days of motherhood, my instagram feed was curated with other mothers, therapists, influencers telling me…what to do, what to buy, and how to parent at each stage of life. I found scripts on how to talk to my child, handle tantrums, conflicts, etc. But, I was left feeling incomplete and disconnected.

I have realized what was missing was the energy of being.

Being is the essence of motherhood. 

Being is feeling grounded, embodied, present.

On my instagram feed, I found no one guiding me on how to listen to myself, my instincts, and what felt best for me and my child. I found myself taking advice and guidance, but I felt disconnected from myself and my son.

In the early days of my son’s life, I was dis-regulated, disembodied, and overwhelmed. I was not being at all, I was doing. I was working hard at motherhood. I followed the steps, I practiced the scripts and it felt robotic. I was doing and saying what I thought were the right things but I was missing the feeling behind all of it.

The more I kept trying to do motherhood right, the more I would dream of a space where I could talk honestly about my experiences of motherhood. I kept dreaming of telling people what I thought the secrets of motherhood are…

slowing down, 

quieting the noise, 

listening to myself for guidance 

and healing my wounds to break past cycles.

Embodying Being

I realized being - present, grounded, here - is something we have to embody. 

Motherhood roots into being…and to be, we are asked to heal. 

Healing helps us to access the mother we desire and know we are capable of being.

Being is about healing; our own wounds, our own pain, our own neglected parts. The way we can access being is by facing ourselves and what stands in our way of being.

For me it was my trauma brain and disassociation, for someone else it could be other things entirely. When we face what keeps us from being, we start to embody what motherhood means to us and the mother we knew existed inside of us all along.

To be the mother I knew I could be, I had to mother myself. I had to face the abused, neglected, misunderstood children inside of me. I had to face my own mother hunger (I highly recommend the book by Kelly McDaniel to understand this topic even deeper). I had to create my own way of being because I am own person and my child is their own person.

Being in Motherhood

This space is about landing inside of ourselves and motherhood by choosing to embody being. It is about messy motherhood on our way to being…more present, more grounded, more embodied.

Being is about taking care of ourselves alongside our children. Being is about reclaiming what it means to be a mother, in our lives on our paths. Being is about bringing back the aspects of ourselves that help us feel whole.

I am not one for the idea of motherhood as martyrdom or a completely selfless act. I am flipping those narratives on their head. I find motherhood to be a selfish act.

At least, how I am approaching motherhood. I take care of myself so I can care for my child. I prioritize my own healing and inner work, so I can parent from a place of calm. I take time for activities that land me in my body and allow me to feel fully myself because I know my son will learn more from an embodied woman than an exhausted servant.

I am here to walk alongside my son. I am here to guide him, support him, and nurture him. I love him immensely and his existence has been a gift and journey of me learning to love and value myself.

His presence also asks me to break cycles around the generations before me ways of mothering.

I have learned it is not enough to do things differently, I have to be differently. Those early days where I was reciting to my son the scripts I read on Instagram, I was disconnected from myself and I had to face so much inside of me. It felt robotic because I had no experience of having my own feelings validated, I was learning.

Breaking cycles is not only about doing things differently. It is not simply, my parents never validated my feelings, so I will validate my sons. When I was doing that from a dis-regulated, disconnected place, my son felt it.

If the only shift I make, is the words I say out loud but the energetics are the same, what am I shifting for myself and for him? 

The desire to do things differently is important but I learned I needed to embody the difference. I had (and continue) to face my wounds and come into a place of being. I have to embody the difference of the cycles I am breaking.

What did not work and left me hurting about my parents’ parenting was not only the things they did, it was the energy they brought. Some of the things they did hurt, abuse hurts and it is never okay. But the other choices they made that left me feeling unseen and unheard, what would have helped them parent differently?

I believe what would have led them to parent differently wasn’t a different technique or script, it was their own healing and awareness. What would have allowed them to be different was facing themselves, their parents’ choices, and what that made them feel as they parented me.

What This Space Is For

Being in Motherhood is a space where the mother is held and nurtured through honesty and connection with ourselves and others. Together, we will explore our relationship to being and experiencing the present moment. I will hold space and invite you to practice landing deeper inside yourself and to explore your relationship with who you are.

There will also be space for YOU to gather to tell your stories and ask your questions about motherhood and all its surrounding topics. This is a space where motherhood is talked about honestly and openly. Nothing is held back, nothing is not explored, we journey it all together.

Come find community, write your words, feel seen and dive deeper into who you are and what it means to be here as you experience motherhood.

I hope you will join us on this journey and invite other mothers you love to come along.

Share with me in the comments or reply to this email what being in motherhood means to you.

Love,

Emma

I hold and open up space in the Fall and Spring seasons in the Northern Hemisphere for you to share your words about motherhood with the community…

To submit your Unspoken Words, click here.

To submit your words for the Motherhood Musing series, click here.

Come join the paid community space, it is a place for deeper connection with other mothers and with yourself.