‘A village of women who parent similarly and differently…’ FUCK YES
This is key for me too. There needs to be shared values, especially around supporting each other and receiving, and allow for variations in exactly how we parent, this is so healthy for none of us feeling ‘wrong’ in how we choose to do it 💜
Emma, this is a fantastic post - this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've been realising in my work that mums don't want or need another life hack or advice, actually what they want is to be seen and heard. To have time to reflect on the monumental changes in motherhood and how they feel about that. To be in the company of other mums and feel that collective healing energy, whether it's in person, online or from reading a post like this that makes you think- she gets it ❤️
I’ve been thinking about this too as I want to deepen my service to the mother, and also how the truth of what you shared, moms don’t want another thing, they want to be held and seen.
Beautiful and heartbreaking Emma to think of society’s construct of Motherhood and the very different reality of it. From what I can tell, the societal construct is geared towards making money by prescribing the things we ‘need’ whereas the reality is much more complex, subtle and in some ways very difficult to express. You are right that we need these spaces to be witnessed and listened to and a place to share our stories of mothering. It’s in the togetherness xx
Love this Emma. I spent SO much money in the first 2 years of River’s life on books, webinars, courses, coaching - all in the hope that they would help me fix River’s sleep and help me fix myself so I could enjoy being a mum. It came from such an understandable and innocent place but I wish I could go back in time and give her a huge hug and let her cry because that’s what I really needed.
I feel this deeply, I wish I could go back in time and hug my utterly anxious self and tell her she is doing a great job. She doesn’t need to figure it out, she needs to quiet the noise and listen inside.
This is so so good Emma! "We are sold this lie we are broken and consumption will fill us". I hear this day after day in every setting and it's just exhausting. It pervades so many aspects of life.
Thank you 💚 my little boy is 2 as well and wow how humbling this part of our story has been..... I just asked my partner the other day "is there a how-to guide for this?!" In regards to boundary setting and patience for our little one who has one foot in infancy and one foot in "big kid" territory. I am so happy you have created this space and that the idea of the village, not the subscription, or the monetary kind, but the authentic heart healing connection kind is trying to reemerge through so many of our tender mama hearts..... you're doing an amazing job!!!
Your comment hit me in the heart. He really is straddling this territory, and some days I want my baby back because I don’t feel equipped to do toddlerhood. I am grateful to hold this space and to know other mamas who are holding space as well for us to be and experience motherhood.
This is so beautiful, and it truly is heart work... (thank you for that mention!!) and yet it is also hard work at times too. We need to have space held for us to re-orientate to our beings NOW... not be told another '10 step process' to follow. Anything that is rooted in 'you are broken let me fix you' feels like ick in my body. A wonderful post. xxxx
You are welcome!! Yes, we need space held to be here and learn how to hold what is happening, because most people I know didn’t have their experiences held and honored as children and are navigating how to as adults. Thank you ❤️
Love this article! But things that are held and supported instead of 'fixed' don't usually make anyone any money hahaha. It's such a truth across the board, so many things about mothering and babies don't need to be 'fixed'. And can't be! Thank you for this.
Oh Emma I feel all of your deep frustrations on this. I too got so sick of the crazy over priced “villages”. Even though they say they are for the mother often what they are doing is putting all the blame on the mother by upholding the illusion that if you just try harder it will all fall into place. Like good motherhood is one fixed destination and not an ever changing landscape. I’m glad you created that rule for yourself, it’s something I need to keep in mind also when these things appear. X
"Like good motherhood is one fixed destination and not an ever changing landscape." YES. Like there is some place to arrive where you have it all figured out, and you're calm and collected. How can this be possible to achieve when motherhood is changing sometimes moment by moment?! I hear you, I find it easy to get excited by offers because I do crave more support and more connection.
I also feel like this is the same for having a ‘regulated’ child. So much out there feels like an end girl to get this regulated child, but a child is a child, sometimes they will be regulated, sometimes not. Again it’s not a fixed destination! So much preys upon the vulnerabilities of mothers and I’m over it.
Fuck, let’s write about this, because ugh, that narrative is playing in my head all day long. If I could figure out the right balance of stimulation for my child, then I would have it all figured out, and it’s impossible.
‘A village of women who parent similarly and differently…’ FUCK YES
This is key for me too. There needs to be shared values, especially around supporting each other and receiving, and allow for variations in exactly how we parent, this is so healthy for none of us feeling ‘wrong’ in how we choose to do it 💜
It is so healthy, which is why it seems harder to find for me. There is no wrong way to do it, only our way and the way our children need!
Emma, this is a fantastic post - this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've been realising in my work that mums don't want or need another life hack or advice, actually what they want is to be seen and heard. To have time to reflect on the monumental changes in motherhood and how they feel about that. To be in the company of other mums and feel that collective healing energy, whether it's in person, online or from reading a post like this that makes you think- she gets it ❤️
I’ve been thinking about this too as I want to deepen my service to the mother, and also how the truth of what you shared, moms don’t want another thing, they want to be held and seen.
Beautiful and heartbreaking Emma to think of society’s construct of Motherhood and the very different reality of it. From what I can tell, the societal construct is geared towards making money by prescribing the things we ‘need’ whereas the reality is much more complex, subtle and in some ways very difficult to express. You are right that we need these spaces to be witnessed and listened to and a place to share our stories of mothering. It’s in the togetherness xx
It is in the togetherness and sharing our experiences!
YES. YES. YES..... I don't want a solution, just support, compassion and to feel heard 💗💗
YES, I wholeheartedly agree ❤️
Love this Emma. I spent SO much money in the first 2 years of River’s life on books, webinars, courses, coaching - all in the hope that they would help me fix River’s sleep and help me fix myself so I could enjoy being a mum. It came from such an understandable and innocent place but I wish I could go back in time and give her a huge hug and let her cry because that’s what I really needed.
I feel this deeply, I wish I could go back in time and hug my utterly anxious self and tell her she is doing a great job. She doesn’t need to figure it out, she needs to quiet the noise and listen inside.
This is so so good Emma! "We are sold this lie we are broken and consumption will fill us". I hear this day after day in every setting and it's just exhausting. It pervades so many aspects of life.
It is exhausting and it pervades every area of life, it is almost a full time job to be committed to quieting the noise.
Thank you 💚 my little boy is 2 as well and wow how humbling this part of our story has been..... I just asked my partner the other day "is there a how-to guide for this?!" In regards to boundary setting and patience for our little one who has one foot in infancy and one foot in "big kid" territory. I am so happy you have created this space and that the idea of the village, not the subscription, or the monetary kind, but the authentic heart healing connection kind is trying to reemerge through so many of our tender mama hearts..... you're doing an amazing job!!!
Your comment hit me in the heart. He really is straddling this territory, and some days I want my baby back because I don’t feel equipped to do toddlerhood. I am grateful to hold this space and to know other mamas who are holding space as well for us to be and experience motherhood.
This is so beautiful, and it truly is heart work... (thank you for that mention!!) and yet it is also hard work at times too. We need to have space held for us to re-orientate to our beings NOW... not be told another '10 step process' to follow. Anything that is rooted in 'you are broken let me fix you' feels like ick in my body. A wonderful post. xxxx
You are welcome!! Yes, we need space held to be here and learn how to hold what is happening, because most people I know didn’t have their experiences held and honored as children and are navigating how to as adults. Thank you ❤️
Love this article! But things that are held and supported instead of 'fixed' don't usually make anyone any money hahaha. It's such a truth across the board, so many things about mothering and babies don't need to be 'fixed'. And can't be! Thank you for this.
Thank you! You make a good point, I would LOVE to change that.
Oh Emma I feel all of your deep frustrations on this. I too got so sick of the crazy over priced “villages”. Even though they say they are for the mother often what they are doing is putting all the blame on the mother by upholding the illusion that if you just try harder it will all fall into place. Like good motherhood is one fixed destination and not an ever changing landscape. I’m glad you created that rule for yourself, it’s something I need to keep in mind also when these things appear. X
"Like good motherhood is one fixed destination and not an ever changing landscape." YES. Like there is some place to arrive where you have it all figured out, and you're calm and collected. How can this be possible to achieve when motherhood is changing sometimes moment by moment?! I hear you, I find it easy to get excited by offers because I do crave more support and more connection.
I also feel like this is the same for having a ‘regulated’ child. So much out there feels like an end girl to get this regulated child, but a child is a child, sometimes they will be regulated, sometimes not. Again it’s not a fixed destination! So much preys upon the vulnerabilities of mothers and I’m over it.
Fuck, let’s write about this, because ugh, that narrative is playing in my head all day long. If I could figure out the right balance of stimulation for my child, then I would have it all figured out, and it’s impossible.
Yes! We need to delve into this more I think, I’ve had these thoughts stirring around in my brain for quite a while.
Little collab?
Messaging you <3
Oft this is amazing thank you for sharing you took the words out of my heart
You are so welcome, thank you for reading ❤️