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Sarina Zoe's avatar

This is so touching Emma, how dropped into your heart you were when in hospital, how you’re bringing forward the parts of you that are innately beautiful.

And yes, gosh presence can be utterly boring, especially when there’s projects underway and inspiration swirling and we’re anchored into the present moment of ‘will you just eaaatt?’ I find meal times most challenging to be present when Gia eats one mouthful every 10 minutes!

You did an astounding job of being coherent while recovering. I hope it nourished you to pull this piece together 💜

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Meal time is slow around here too! UGH, I am constantly learning to release my timeline and the pressure I feel inside to keep moving. My son does not have that, and I do not want to teach him to rush through life, so I try hard to be present with what feels like slowness to me!

Thank you, I appreciate you, pulling this piece together did nourish me.

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Danielle Langin's avatar

Emma, this is so beautifully written. ❤️ Thank you for sharing your heart!

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

You are so welcome, thank you for reading.

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Lauren Barber's avatar

Oh gosh hun I have only just got to reading this and it sounds like such an initiation, truly hope you are rebuilding your strength gently. And you are right… presence is often so ‘boring’ and without the dopamine hits of phones and interactions online… I wonder if we have all got such a low tolerance to boredom now because of devices that it’s taken away our ability to really be in that spacious place. I know that it’s often so insightful for me when I eventually give up and just BE in it… but usually there is a bit of a brace against it first. Lovely thought provoking piece, thank you xxxx

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Such an initiation. Yes, we definitely have a low tolerance for boredom, we never have to be anymore since the invention of phones, social media, endless TV to watch. I know that bracing against when you know it is time to be, but also the softening that comes after once you let yourself relax.

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Anna • A Momentary Happiness's avatar

This was absolutely beautifully written. You’re right, presence can be oh so boring. I find it particularly hard to be present when we are building the same Lego tower for the eighth time and all I want to do is write. But my, how it keeps you sane. Releasing the constant need to create, to consume, to do is one of the best things I’ve ever done!

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Thank you, you are so kind! I too find it the most boring in playing with my kid, when I want to write or paint or create. I have to remind myself this moment too is a creative act. I have sort of part 2 coming out on this tomorrow on releasing the constant need to strive for certain things!

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Violet Carol's avatar

This reads like a pivotal catharsis with the tone you took and almost focused stream-of-consciousness structure 🩵 I’m so sorry you’ve been sick — it often amplifies everything else, especially when you’re in the hospital and everything seems “off.” Hoping you continue to feel better! Thanks for sharing this piece with us 🫶🏻

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Thank you, it does amplify everything. It does feel like quite the pivotal moment.

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Michelle Barichello's avatar

This was interesting and beautiful to read. My husband was in the hospital a couple months ago for a week after breaking a few bones in a car accident, and I agree, nothing brings you to the sense of being present quite like surrendering in a hospital. Reading your story made me think of our time there. He didn’t want to look at his phone or turn the tv on. We sat together mostly in silence and it was quite boring. He also talked to his nurses and everyone he interacted with, asking them about their lives. We both felt this overwhelming call to slow down, but that was about 6 weeks ago and it’s crazy how easily you get swept back up in the speed of life. I try to remember that time to ground me more. I hope for you that slowing down and being present stays with you longer, and I wish you a strong recovery. Thank you for sharing 💕

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experience, I am nervous for when time speeds back up because I know it inevitably will. I am grateful to have this experience as a reminder to slow down and presence myself to what matters most. Thank you for your well wishes, and thank you for reading!

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Chanel Riggle's avatar

Ignore my note comment from earlier. You are not ok and that is an okay place to be. You are not the only one who is exploring this connection between pain forcing you to pause.

We are designed for work AND rest. But often I leave rest as another thing to earn.

I’m praying for you. I’m here if you need to vent or need support I am able to give.

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

I may go back and reread some of your writings for support, I think they would land differently now. I too leave rest as another thing to earn. Thank you for being so kind 💜

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