So much love to you. Every version that you have been has been who you needed to be in that moment, and I hope you can see her with so much love and gentleness. You are in a season of unbecoming and becoming, and you have time to let her surface slowly. Biggest hugs xxxxx
You are me. 🥹 this was powerful, vulnerable in every word shared. My heart drank in and could relate so much. This part: “I tried to stay humble and remind myself healing is never done and I would have moments where I did not feel like this in the future.”
Thank you for the reminder that healing is never done as I am in that future moment. 🙏🏾❤️
I am feeling you story so deeply! Maybe if you have the energy you can go listen to my mini-memoir and find some piece of yourself and then if it feels right, you can tell me about it. And maybe we’ll feel less alone in all this unleashing of the kraken that has been autistic identity-finding (vs diagnosis).
I feel this so much! I think the part where it’s so unsettling to not have clarity, to not have things figured out is such a big part of the autistic experience we don’t talk about much. It’s so very uncomfortable!
yes! and then sometimes you have an experience where someone knows this about you and says: "I know how much you hate this part, I'm here, take your time." It doesn't make it easier but I'm slowly learning how wonderful those moments of connection can be when we realize these things about ourselves and share them with a few trusted people in our lives.
Sending you a big hug from across the internet! 🫶🏻 If you’re sneaking reading in anywhere for yourself between spare minutes (I know now that anything can feel like an impossible feat in this motherhood chaos), a nonfiction book I rly enjoyed is Quiet by Susan Cain — she talks a lot about how introversion/extroversion is actually about stimuli and output capacities. I found it to be very validating and calming re feeling general sensory overwhelm 🩷
Aw yay! I’m not usually a non-fiction reader but really enjoyed this one ☺️ I believe she makes a distinction in her research at the outset of the book between introversion, anti-social personality, and autism (I can’t remember specifics) but it was a rly liberating take on the “introvert” experience as a superpower that I feel like you’ll enjoy regardless 🩵
Hi Emma, what you're experiencing post-diagnosis is completely normal and to be expected. Formal diagnosis can bring up a lot of stuff that you thought you dealt with already. So please don't be hard on yourself about this spiral of emotions - it will take time to process.
Hi! I find it interesting how many women have assumed I got a formal diagnosis, nope this is a self-diagnosis. Thank you for sharing your post, I saved it to read for later.
So much love to you. Every version that you have been has been who you needed to be in that moment, and I hope you can see her with so much love and gentleness. You are in a season of unbecoming and becoming, and you have time to let her surface slowly. Biggest hugs xxxxx
Thank you, I needed this reminder!
You are me. 🥹 this was powerful, vulnerable in every word shared. My heart drank in and could relate so much. This part: “I tried to stay humble and remind myself healing is never done and I would have moments where I did not feel like this in the future.”
Thank you for the reminder that healing is never done as I am in that future moment. 🙏🏾❤️
You are so welcome, thank you for reading.
I am feeling you story so deeply! Maybe if you have the energy you can go listen to my mini-memoir and find some piece of yourself and then if it feels right, you can tell me about it. And maybe we’ll feel less alone in all this unleashing of the kraken that has been autistic identity-finding (vs diagnosis).
I am so excited to dive into your stuck when I have the space. I think we will feel less alone.
I feel this so much! I think the part where it’s so unsettling to not have clarity, to not have things figured out is such a big part of the autistic experience we don’t talk about much. It’s so very uncomfortable!
It is very uncomfortable and I am realizing that is part of who I am, not some sort of flaw in me.
yes! and then sometimes you have an experience where someone knows this about you and says: "I know how much you hate this part, I'm here, take your time." It doesn't make it easier but I'm slowly learning how wonderful those moments of connection can be when we realize these things about ourselves and share them with a few trusted people in our lives.
Sending you a big hug from across the internet! 🫶🏻 If you’re sneaking reading in anywhere for yourself between spare minutes (I know now that anything can feel like an impossible feat in this motherhood chaos), a nonfiction book I rly enjoyed is Quiet by Susan Cain — she talks a lot about how introversion/extroversion is actually about stimuli and output capacities. I found it to be very validating and calming re feeling general sensory overwhelm 🩷
I am adding the book to my list. Reading has been my salvation lately! I appreciate you so much.
Aw yay! I’m not usually a non-fiction reader but really enjoyed this one ☺️ I believe she makes a distinction in her research at the outset of the book between introversion, anti-social personality, and autism (I can’t remember specifics) but it was a rly liberating take on the “introvert” experience as a superpower that I feel like you’ll enjoy regardless 🩵
Hi Emma, what you're experiencing post-diagnosis is completely normal and to be expected. Formal diagnosis can bring up a lot of stuff that you thought you dealt with already. So please don't be hard on yourself about this spiral of emotions - it will take time to process.
To help with the overwhelm/overload, you might resonate with the concept of low-demand living: https://neurodivergentnotes.substack.com/p/living-a-low-demand-lifestyle
Hi! I find it interesting how many women have assumed I got a formal diagnosis, nope this is a self-diagnosis. Thank you for sharing your post, I saved it to read for later.
Nothing wrong with self-diagnosis, I myself was self-diagnosed for a couple of years :)
Thank you for this vulnerability.
You are welcome!