Thank you for sharing this Emma, and for creating a sense of connection and solidarity. And Lyndsay - my desk/head is very similar! And also I'm reading that book Milk about breastfeeding :)
Ha yes so full, desk/head! Such an amazing book, it is so validating and I also love all of the social/cultural/art references. I took an online class about motherhood/art with Joanna via Substack and would highly recommend! xx
Greatly appreciate each of you for sharing your perspectives with this. It is so unique of course in what we carry in our mental load, but the shared experience of knowing we are all holding multiple moving pieces all at one is somewhat reassuring. Thank you as ever for bringing these truths to light Emma. Xxxx
Thank you for reading dear L. Yes it seems to manifest differently but ultimately we are holding much of the same thing(s). Talking about it definitely helps bring clarity and a sense of togetherness xx
I love this question. The mental load, to me, feels like walking on a tightrope that's also an obstacle course, balancing many items --like the cat-in-the-hat -- and having to think through each next careful step, but many steps ahead of time. The mental load feels like 1,000 rabbit holes of what could happen, what should happen, what needs to happen and then what actually happens. It's thinking ahead mentally for many different things, all while moving physically, in real time, trying to not miss a beat there, either. This is why my first principle in motherhood is to minimize every, single thing, down to the only essential thing, thus create more space; rinse and repeat. It feels impossible and there is so much added to it all the time.
Absolutely relate to this, I think I am only just realising just quite how much I am holding in my mind (and my hands!) all day every day. I love the reminder to simplify, thank you xx
I love your idea to minimize every single thing, I often think like that, how can I do less, exert less energy, and trying and find a way to let things flow instead of feeling like life is consuming me.
The mental load ... wondering how I go from feeling like "I've got this" and feeling on top of it to..... feeling like I'm staring burnout in the face and a complete emotional meltdown within a couple of days!!
Thank you for sharing this Emma, and for creating a sense of connection and solidarity. And Lyndsay - my desk/head is very similar! And also I'm reading that book Milk about breastfeeding :)
Ha yes so full, desk/head! Such an amazing book, it is so validating and I also love all of the social/cultural/art references. I took an online class about motherhood/art with Joanna via Substack and would highly recommend! xx
I wish her book had had pictures of the art in it
I know, that would be amazing. I kept finding myself googling the artworks she talks about alongside reading xx
Oh that sounds cool!
You are so welcome, it is an honor.
Greatly appreciate each of you for sharing your perspectives with this. It is so unique of course in what we carry in our mental load, but the shared experience of knowing we are all holding multiple moving pieces all at one is somewhat reassuring. Thank you as ever for bringing these truths to light Emma. Xxxx
Thank you for reading dear L. Yes it seems to manifest differently but ultimately we are holding much of the same thing(s). Talking about it definitely helps bring clarity and a sense of togetherness xx
You are so welcome, thank you for reading. We are all holding multiple moving pieces at once.
I love this question. The mental load, to me, feels like walking on a tightrope that's also an obstacle course, balancing many items --like the cat-in-the-hat -- and having to think through each next careful step, but many steps ahead of time. The mental load feels like 1,000 rabbit holes of what could happen, what should happen, what needs to happen and then what actually happens. It's thinking ahead mentally for many different things, all while moving physically, in real time, trying to not miss a beat there, either. This is why my first principle in motherhood is to minimize every, single thing, down to the only essential thing, thus create more space; rinse and repeat. It feels impossible and there is so much added to it all the time.
Absolutely relate to this, I think I am only just realising just quite how much I am holding in my mind (and my hands!) all day every day. I love the reminder to simplify, thank you xx
I love your idea to minimize every single thing, I often think like that, how can I do less, exert less energy, and trying and find a way to let things flow instead of feeling like life is consuming me.
Great descriptions of the mental load. Please see/share my newsletter on this topic. https://susanlandersmd819.substack.com/p/hidden-mental-load-of-cognitive-labor?r=67yvj
The mental load ... wondering how I go from feeling like "I've got this" and feeling on top of it to..... feeling like I'm staring burnout in the face and a complete emotional meltdown within a couple of days!!
And also within a couple of hours, at least for me! it does shift back and forth doesn’t it?