I agree, motherhood is not enough for me, and we need to stop putting that expectation on ourselves and others. We are such multifaceted beings and the way our individualistic cultures are organized means we have so much less of 'the village' than we used to, which leaves less freedom and possibility and space for the business of figuring out who we are aside of our children, being the woman first and mother second (even though of course motherhood informs every decision we make in life especially when our babies are young.) Sending you love and saying it's ok to yearn for more, and I understand that sometimes the only way to claw out of an extremely slow, boring or difficult moment is to reach for the phone. You're doing great mama!
It’s like I’m reading my own words! Thanks for sharing your experiences. So glad we have Substack and this community to explore and find support for our other passions beyond motherhood.
Hi Charlotte! My first (of two) is extremely independent also. She and I don’t connect well all the time, unlike her brother and me. I also struggled with breastfeeding her, so I feel like that bond isn’t quite there/as strong as it could be. Maybe, though, it’s a firstborn thing? I don’t know.
Yes! I worry all the time that the 'failure' to breastfeed is why he's not as obsessed with me as the others (for want of a better way of putting it, haha). I spoke to a therapist about it though and she said something that I remind myself of often - "you're assuming you made him the way he is, what if he's the way he is because that's just who he is?"
I agree, motherhood is not enough for me, and we need to stop putting that expectation on ourselves and others. We are such multifaceted beings and the way our individualistic cultures are organized means we have so much less of 'the village' than we used to, which leaves less freedom and possibility and space for the business of figuring out who we are aside of our children, being the woman first and mother second (even though of course motherhood informs every decision we make in life especially when our babies are young.) Sending you love and saying it's ok to yearn for more, and I understand that sometimes the only way to claw out of an extremely slow, boring or difficult moment is to reach for the phone. You're doing great mama!
Thank you!!
It’s like I’m reading my own words! Thanks for sharing your experiences. So glad we have Substack and this community to explore and find support for our other passions beyond motherhood.
Thanks Ashley, three cheers for Substack!
Thanks for sharing, grateful for both of your work!
You’re welcome, thank you for being here!
Thank you, Julie
Thank you so much for featuring me, Emma, it's an honour to be included in such a relatable and needed series <3
You are so welcome, it is an honor to have you!
Hi Charlotte! My first (of two) is extremely independent also. She and I don’t connect well all the time, unlike her brother and me. I also struggled with breastfeeding her, so I feel like that bond isn’t quite there/as strong as it could be. Maybe, though, it’s a firstborn thing? I don’t know.
Yes! I worry all the time that the 'failure' to breastfeed is why he's not as obsessed with me as the others (for want of a better way of putting it, haha). I spoke to a therapist about it though and she said something that I remind myself of often - "you're assuming you made him the way he is, what if he's the way he is because that's just who he is?"
Oh I still need the reminder to do my pelvic floor exercises! At a gym class the other day we were meant to skip and I definitely peed a little!
Love these reflections