Ooof to the part about kids being boring - it's one of those truths that kinda sounds like nails on a chalkboard because it's so hard to say aloud. Thank you for sharing. I totally agree - right now I am fortunate to have regular childcare but extended time with my kiddo and lack of creative time absolutely leaves me feeling restless.
Another refreshingly honest account of how motherhood can be... thank you Kylie-Ann 👍 I’m totally with you on the “pretend play” bollocks! Never liked it, never will.. what a waste of my f*cking time! 🤣🤣 We can’t be good at everything, and it’s ok to admit we don’t enjoy some things. Talking/connecting with other mums is the best remedy ❤️
It’s maddening in a way that beautiful growth and self-discovery come about in such challenging situations and environments. Necessary, but maddening all the same. Thanks for sharing!
For so long, I felt I wanted to be a mother of many, but I didn’t really know what I want. Didn’t know, until I had kids, that I wanted to be a person too. Have a career, or at least an outlet (mine is Substack too!) to plug into the rest of the world. Thank you for sharing these hard things.
Thank you for sharing Christianna, I too thought I would want more children, but I can’t see it happening now. It is hard and a year age gap I can totally see how that would be hard. I think self compassion and permission to feel is so important. ❤️
"I didn't realize until I became a mother that I wanted to be a person too," I feel this so much. I am waiting on your Unspoken Words to come through if you feel called!
You analogy / description of the football pitch and the emotional exhaustion of refereeing really sings to me. I have twin boys who are 7... it's still hard ... I still feel that I'm in the trench's but with some more glimpses of sunlight. I have to say to myself it's ok that it's hard ...because that is the reality and to fight that with "why is it so hard?" is not helpful to me and leaves me feeling deficient in some way, like I've missed the memo! gradually and slowly (with a lot of back and forth) I surrender and accept "its just hard!"
It is isn’t it. And do you know what just hearing others say it is so helpful. Like it’s meant to be hard, it’s not just something we’ve done wrong. Absolutely.
I’ve done so much work in counseling to this end! My counselor often says, “You’ve got to feel what you feel”—learning to give myself permission, layer by layer. My kids are younger, 2 and 3, but when I accepted “it’s just hard,” I was liberated from jt being so hard! I’m coming into joy as a mother, it seems. Wishing you the same!
I relate to your words so much Kylie - from the boredom, to the feeling like a referee and feeling invisible. Totally agree that sharing our experiences and motherhood helps too. Thank you for your honesty as always x
Thank you for sharing my words Emma. 🙌🏻❤️
You are so welcome! Thank you for taking the time to share with us.
Ooof to the part about kids being boring - it's one of those truths that kinda sounds like nails on a chalkboard because it's so hard to say aloud. Thank you for sharing. I totally agree - right now I am fortunate to have regular childcare but extended time with my kiddo and lack of creative time absolutely leaves me feeling restless.
Yes exactly this 🙌🏻 thank you for reading.
Another refreshingly honest account of how motherhood can be... thank you Kylie-Ann 👍 I’m totally with you on the “pretend play” bollocks! Never liked it, never will.. what a waste of my f*cking time! 🤣🤣 We can’t be good at everything, and it’s ok to admit we don’t enjoy some things. Talking/connecting with other mums is the best remedy ❤️
Thank you, Eva. That is music to my ears!
It’s maddening in a way that beautiful growth and self-discovery come about in such challenging situations and environments. Necessary, but maddening all the same. Thanks for sharing!
For so long, I felt I wanted to be a mother of many, but I didn’t really know what I want. Didn’t know, until I had kids, that I wanted to be a person too. Have a career, or at least an outlet (mine is Substack too!) to plug into the rest of the world. Thank you for sharing these hard things.
Thank you for sharing Christianna, I too thought I would want more children, but I can’t see it happening now. It is hard and a year age gap I can totally see how that would be hard. I think self compassion and permission to feel is so important. ❤️
"I didn't realize until I became a mother that I wanted to be a person too," I feel this so much. I am waiting on your Unspoken Words to come through if you feel called!
Thank you for the invitation, Emma! I shall consider.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻🫶
You analogy / description of the football pitch and the emotional exhaustion of refereeing really sings to me. I have twin boys who are 7... it's still hard ... I still feel that I'm in the trench's but with some more glimpses of sunlight. I have to say to myself it's ok that it's hard ...because that is the reality and to fight that with "why is it so hard?" is not helpful to me and leaves me feeling deficient in some way, like I've missed the memo! gradually and slowly (with a lot of back and forth) I surrender and accept "its just hard!"
It is isn’t it. And do you know what just hearing others say it is so helpful. Like it’s meant to be hard, it’s not just something we’ve done wrong. Absolutely.
I’ve done so much work in counseling to this end! My counselor often says, “You’ve got to feel what you feel”—learning to give myself permission, layer by layer. My kids are younger, 2 and 3, but when I accepted “it’s just hard,” I was liberated from jt being so hard! I’m coming into joy as a mother, it seems. Wishing you the same!
I relate to your words so much Kylie - from the boredom, to the feeling like a referee and feeling invisible. Totally agree that sharing our experiences and motherhood helps too. Thank you for your honesty as always x
It is such a huge responsibility and it is way undervalued!