Ooooh so grateful to you for sharing my words... feels stretchy but truthful to be so honest. Thank you for giving a space for my voice to be heard amongst likeminded souls. I adore this series and can’t wait to read more xxx
This is such powerful work. I love that you are doing this, thank you both for your immense courage. I had a mother who followed her creative life far and wide, and I often felt abandoned. I fear leaving that imprint on my kids. So I have lived the tension on both sides of this. I have four kids--the oldest is 10. And I am amazed by how quickly mothering shifts and changes. The density really is a season. But man, there's nothing like the aliveness I feel when I'm given a chance to miss my kids. I wrote about this a year or so ago & I offer this essay in case it's of interest to others. Thank you again. https://thenobletry.substack.com/p/been-raging
Thank you, I’m saving this piece to read when I get the chance. But wow trying to balance between not feeling like I’m abandoning them and also not abandoning myself... that’s a dance! Xx
It does make one feel so alive when you get the space to miss them, right? Your reflections remind me there is no one way to mother, our kids are impacted by our choices no matter what they are, which can be scary to hold at times. Thank you for reading, I would love for you to share your words if you feel called.
Ah love the truths about motherhood Lauren shares here - I resonate with it all. Yes, love and grief can co-exist in the same moment, absolutely. So grateful for Lauren sharing her experiences and truth - it always makes me feel so much less alone, so normal, so human for feeling the same things xx
I’m so glad I stumbled across these words today. I feel so entrenched in mother guilt sometimes, but it’s always a comfort to know others share this experience of ‘wanting more’ x
Relate to this on infinite levels L. All of it, thank you for sharing your truth and therefore allowing us to shine light on ours, even when it isn’t pretty. It is a crazy chapter in which the mundane and profound exist within the same breath and it is such a challenge to navigate. Thank you and Emma, love to you both and all of the mothers on this path xx
Lauren, I so agree with you about the rite of passage. We don't honour it at all well enough in our culture. If anything the pervasive messaging is the opposite - 'bounce back' and 'don't lose yourself' are much louder. But you are right on when you say there's no going back. It took me years to accept and recognise the grief that's inevitably associated with that ie with every new stage there is always something that is lost.
"Sometimes I cry because in the process of gaining you, I lost a version of me, and though I wouldn’t change that even if I could, sometimes I miss me desperately."
I don't remember where I found that quote, but I've had it saved in my Notes for over a decade!
Ooooh so grateful to you for sharing my words... feels stretchy but truthful to be so honest. Thank you for giving a space for my voice to be heard amongst likeminded souls. I adore this series and can’t wait to read more xxx
You are welcome! Thank you for sharing your words with us and letting me hold this space for you, and others.
This is such powerful work. I love that you are doing this, thank you both for your immense courage. I had a mother who followed her creative life far and wide, and I often felt abandoned. I fear leaving that imprint on my kids. So I have lived the tension on both sides of this. I have four kids--the oldest is 10. And I am amazed by how quickly mothering shifts and changes. The density really is a season. But man, there's nothing like the aliveness I feel when I'm given a chance to miss my kids. I wrote about this a year or so ago & I offer this essay in case it's of interest to others. Thank you again. https://thenobletry.substack.com/p/been-raging
Thank you, I’m saving this piece to read when I get the chance. But wow trying to balance between not feeling like I’m abandoning them and also not abandoning myself... that’s a dance! Xx
It does make one feel so alive when you get the space to miss them, right? Your reflections remind me there is no one way to mother, our kids are impacted by our choices no matter what they are, which can be scary to hold at times. Thank you for reading, I would love for you to share your words if you feel called.
Thank you for sharing! I am loving this series! 💕
Me too!
felt every word of this! Thanks for sharing your hard truths!
Forever changed, forever rearranged...so very true! Thanks for sharing your wisdom Lauren!
Ah love the truths about motherhood Lauren shares here - I resonate with it all. Yes, love and grief can co-exist in the same moment, absolutely. So grateful for Lauren sharing her experiences and truth - it always makes me feel so much less alone, so normal, so human for feeling the same things xx
Yes! Love and grief can co-exist. I love that so much.
I’m so glad I stumbled across these words today. I feel so entrenched in mother guilt sometimes, but it’s always a comfort to know others share this experience of ‘wanting more’ x
You are definitely not alone!
Yes yes yes to all of this. X
Relate to this on infinite levels L. All of it, thank you for sharing your truth and therefore allowing us to shine light on ours, even when it isn’t pretty. It is a crazy chapter in which the mundane and profound exist within the same breath and it is such a challenge to navigate. Thank you and Emma, love to you both and all of the mothers on this path xx
You are so welcome!
Lauren, I so agree with you about the rite of passage. We don't honour it at all well enough in our culture. If anything the pervasive messaging is the opposite - 'bounce back' and 'don't lose yourself' are much louder. But you are right on when you say there's no going back. It took me years to accept and recognise the grief that's inevitably associated with that ie with every new stage there is always something that is lost.
"Sometimes I cry because in the process of gaining you, I lost a version of me, and though I wouldn’t change that even if I could, sometimes I miss me desperately."
I don't remember where I found that quote, but I've had it saved in my Notes for over a decade!
That quote….so good.