Incredible words. Powerful truths. Your strength and vulnerability shine through, reminding us all that as mothers we are both strong and fragile and deserve support 🤍
“It isn't meant to be like this. We were never meant to mother in such isolation, without a village, with so little support and respect. If it feels impossible right now, that's because it is. We are doing the hardest job in the world in the most artificial and impossible circumstances.” This! Thank you for sharing Allegra, I relate to so much of this.
Thank you Emma and Allegra! This was so brilliant, relatable and affirming. The reluctance to play yes, the anger yes and I relate so much to the being changed by mothering and that being an obvious, necessary and positive thing. It is as though the reality of mothering is too messy to fit in to any societal box and so it is easier to squeeze us back into our previous selves or the idealised construct of motherhood xx
Omg, so relatable and timely. I finally just admitted to myself yesterday that I don’t like playing with my daughter. Her games are interminably boring! I was trying to mentally justify my sentiments by reminding myself that historically, mothers didn’t have time to play with their children in the way we think of it now. It’s still sad when it’s what she wants more than anything, and I’m not into it.
I love spending time with her doing activities, teaching her things, even performing everyday chores, but I have so many inspiring things in my life that playing with her is not how I want to spend my time. 🤷🏻♀️
I relate to your anger, Allegra! And your sense that we're "supposed" to pick up right where we left off when we have kids, rather than expand and grow alongside them.
Thank you Allegra for sharing your words here. Thank you for talking about anger. Thank you for talking about play. Each time I read someone one's words, I feel less alone. I really don't love play, especially cause my kiddo has a ton of rules about how I should brain and it makes me shutdown and want to scream at the same time.
What a way to feel seen at 6:20 in the morning as I try to fit in some work while my children sleep upstairs (one of which crept into our bed at 4:50 and I've been not quite asleep ever since). So much of what Allegra said resonates with me. It is nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. As with so many facets of motherhood, certain things remain taboo, and anger, imagining another life and finding playing with your own children deathly dull are on that list. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Susannah! I'm also sitting here at 6.30am trying to fit in work before the children wake up, although thankfully the littlest didn't get into our bed last night so I slept better than yesterday, when he did, so I very much see you! :)
Thank you 🙏🏻 I also hate playing (imaginative play) with my son. I feel less guilty knowing I’m not the only one. Although I try and tell myself I should do it as I obviously need to spark my imagination and playful side a bit more.
Beautiful words Allegra and I relate to so much, especially the not wanting to play with them bit… that sentences triggers me so much when my little one says ‘will you play with me?’…. 🥹 And I see your anger over the way that this system is set up basically to fail Mothers and subsequently children and it makes me rage inside too. Thank you for speaking with such honesty. I also had to giggle about the shoes bit… every. Damn. Day! 🤪 xxx
Incredible words. Powerful truths. Your strength and vulnerability shine through, reminding us all that as mothers we are both strong and fragile and deserve support 🤍
“It isn't meant to be like this. We were never meant to mother in such isolation, without a village, with so little support and respect. If it feels impossible right now, that's because it is. We are doing the hardest job in the world in the most artificial and impossible circumstances.” This! Thank you for sharing Allegra, I relate to so much of this.
Thank you Emma and Allegra! This was so brilliant, relatable and affirming. The reluctance to play yes, the anger yes and I relate so much to the being changed by mothering and that being an obvious, necessary and positive thing. It is as though the reality of mothering is too messy to fit in to any societal box and so it is easier to squeeze us back into our previous selves or the idealised construct of motherhood xx
Omg, so relatable and timely. I finally just admitted to myself yesterday that I don’t like playing with my daughter. Her games are interminably boring! I was trying to mentally justify my sentiments by reminding myself that historically, mothers didn’t have time to play with their children in the way we think of it now. It’s still sad when it’s what she wants more than anything, and I’m not into it.
I love spending time with her doing activities, teaching her things, even performing everyday chores, but I have so many inspiring things in my life that playing with her is not how I want to spend my time. 🤷🏻♀️
Glad to know it’s a thing!
I relate to your anger, Allegra! And your sense that we're "supposed" to pick up right where we left off when we have kids, rather than expand and grow alongside them.
Thank you Allegra for sharing your words here. Thank you for talking about anger. Thank you for talking about play. Each time I read someone one's words, I feel less alone. I really don't love play, especially cause my kiddo has a ton of rules about how I should brain and it makes me shutdown and want to scream at the same time.
What a way to feel seen at 6:20 in the morning as I try to fit in some work while my children sleep upstairs (one of which crept into our bed at 4:50 and I've been not quite asleep ever since). So much of what Allegra said resonates with me. It is nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. As with so many facets of motherhood, certain things remain taboo, and anger, imagining another life and finding playing with your own children deathly dull are on that list. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Susannah! I'm also sitting here at 6.30am trying to fit in work before the children wake up, although thankfully the littlest didn't get into our bed last night so I slept better than yesterday, when he did, so I very much see you! :)
Thank you 🙏🏻 I also hate playing (imaginative play) with my son. I feel less guilty knowing I’m not the only one. Although I try and tell myself I should do it as I obviously need to spark my imagination and playful side a bit more.
Beautiful words Allegra and I relate to so much, especially the not wanting to play with them bit… that sentences triggers me so much when my little one says ‘will you play with me?’…. 🥹 And I see your anger over the way that this system is set up basically to fail Mothers and subsequently children and it makes me rage inside too. Thank you for speaking with such honesty. I also had to giggle about the shoes bit… every. Damn. Day! 🤪 xxx